an end. a beginning.

it all began last august, standing outside the grove in l.a. - what i thought was initially intended for the conversation, God would use months later to radically change my life...

might i start off with a brief synopsis of who i was. a snob. incredibly selfish and caught up in possessions and wealth, i'm pretty sure i didn't learn the definition of compassion and sacrifice until age 18. at 17 years old, i began college with dreams of being a fashion marketer in nyc. and then a boy came into my life. pathetic as it to say that, it was this boy that would re-introduced me to Christ and would later become the catalyst that caused me to chase hard into the arms of Christ.

seven years later, i'm not quite sure i remember any of that young girl. so confident in herself, yet so insecure; merely chasing after the wind. from then, i've come to know a Saviour who walks me through this life. who restores and heals all the broken bits of me. who guides me in truth. guides me in wisdom. who calls me out of my comfort zone. who empowers me to forgive, when i have no desire to forgive. who calls me to actively show love and compassion, and changes me in such a way that i might be able to. He's captured my heart. all i can do now, is give Him back my life...

that conversation, standing outside the grove:: that is what was used to find me here, doing something crazy. chasing after a God, who's called me up. called me out. now, beginning to raise financial support so that i might be used - by God - for His glory - to plant churches [to unreached people] in the middle east. i have no idea what this looks like. any of it. the support raising. the church planting. the middle east. it is all incredibly unknown. and because of that, God has had to change me [through a very progressive and painful process] from dreading the unknown, to being terribly excited for the unknown [it's amazing what God can do, when you finally choose to submit and surrender, which must occur daily for my stubborn-self, might i add].

the past 11 months has been quite the journey; i shall entitle it, "dying to self" [it has been painfully humbling to see what control i think i have and much i know in planning my own life]. He brought me to the end of myself, so that i might begin to live this life through Him and for Him.

:: i invite you to join me in this next season... what that means or looks like, i haven't a clue... God has this miraculous and beautiful way of unfolding a life.